15 min

DEAR MAN Script

A DBT communication worksheet for preparing clear requests, boundaries, and negotiation points before hard conversations.

Relationships
Intermediate
15 min

DEAR MAN is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy interpersonal effectiveness skill. It gives structure to conversations where you need to ask for something, say no, or discuss a boundary while staying respectful and focused.

The acronym stands for Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, Appear confident, and Negotiate. This worksheet turns each step into a short writing prompt so you can prepare your message before emotions or pressure make the conversation harder to navigate.

Use the script section to practice your opening sentence, clear request, and fallback response. The goal is not to control the other person's answer; it is to communicate directly, protect your priorities, and stay connected to your values.

DEAR MAN Script

DEAR MAN Script

A DBT communication worksheet for preparing clear requests, boundaries, and negotiation points before hard conversations.

When to Use

  • Before making a clear request
  • When preparing to set a boundary
  • During relationship or workplace communication stress
  • When you tend to avoid direct conversations

How to Use

  1. 1
    Describe the situation using neutral facts and no labels.
  2. 2
    Express your feelings, needs, or values in one sentence.
  3. 3
    Assert your request or boundary clearly and directly.
  4. 4
    Reinforce the benefit of cooperating or understanding your position.
  5. 5
    Plan how you will stay mindful if the topic shifts.
  6. 6
    Write a fallback line for negotiation or repeated pressure.

Research & References

  • Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT Skills Training Manual. Guilford Press.